“Wait ’til I tell all the kids at school I’ve seen one of those!”

I would feel about the same had I received a wagon wheel on my doorstep, or perhaps a Model T crank, but at least I could use one of those as some sort of cheesy decoration. I think all you can do with this is mock it.

Verizon is the only business listed under Anachronism Dealers

There’s no compelling reason to mosaic FTD’s readily-available number; I did it just on general principles.